Friday, January 26, 2018

I'm Baaaaaaaack!.

   I was the lucky recipient of a new nifty tablet for Christmas. It's a sensitive sucker and I'm finding I have a lot to learn. I keep doing things I'm not trying to like open pages and delete things, muting, and turning the damn thing off when I'm  trying to increase the volume. The good thing is it's helping me meditate, of all things. There's something about having another voice in my ear reminding me to stop and just breathe for three, five or ten minutes depending on the setting I choose; it helps me actually get a grip.
  After some searching, I was even able to find my blog and blow the dust off it, electronically speaking. Now that it's a  new year, I've decided to make some anti resolutions. I'm  sticking to my first usual resolution to not make promises I know damn well I won't keep. I plan to stop beating myself up over things I don't do. Baby steps are still steps (I should probably have that tattooed somewhere).       Slowly but surely I will get there. Where exactly "there" is is my problem. My focus will be on what I want to be when I  grow up. It's  going to take help for me to figure out what that may be. It may even take something completely crazy like going back to school. Let's just eat our elephant one bite at a time, shall we?
  While we're on the subject of lunacy, I plan to ask for help! Admitting, however, that my spouse is oblivious to house messes will most likely require a cape and phone  booth on my part. Did I mention baby steps? Can I make a behavior chart for myself? My daughter has one. There are even rewards for good weeks.
  I can only imagine what mine would look like. Item one, did I write or look for submissions? Item two, did I drop the F bomb less than 10 times today? Item three, did I not hit anybody? Item four, did I keep my snarky comments about others to less than four? Item five, did I remember that perfection is a strictly theoretical concept both in and for my house? How much alcohol qualifies as a reward before it becomes a problem?
  Resolutions? No, thank you. I need something  more concrete, and realistic. Patience with myself (another theoretical concept) and others will have to be another item for me to have on my chart, mostly for visualization purposes. The next question  would be where to put the thing. I'm guessing, the refrigerator, since six pack abs are definitely not on the list.
   Happy 2018, everyone, here's hoping.