My spouse and I had already reached the 'Jesus-Christ-it's-you-again' part of our marriage before this whole pandemic nightmare began. How do you cope when you're 'trapped' in the house together? There have been plenty of jokes about how there will be a lot of babies and a lot of divorces when this is over. We are too old for either. The thought of all that bleach and a big back yard can get tempting when the farm animals you live with still refuse to clean up after themselves. Like they have something else better to do?!
Our house is a two story 40 year old colonial. The bedrooms are a bit small and it's all I can keep up with despite wishing it was a little bigger. Things would have been even more crowded with crap around here if it weren't for our annual yard sales followed by Purple Heart donations. This year has so far been the exception. I'm convinced those yard sales (and the influence of my ex, a car dealer) are what enable us to actually use our garage for our vehicles. We are hiding a multitude of sins in the basement. I'm also struggling to figure out if the walls are too thin or we've all been home too long. I'm guessing the answer here is yes.
We all have our foibles. I think there's something about too much togetherness and almost twenty years of marriage that can magnify them. This results in not enough wine. I understand why people day drink. It's not like we're driving anywhere. I'm fighting to save my empty calories until Friday. What if it's Monday at 11am? This goes past the messiness, too. My brain is incredibly busy even when I'm not. 'Jesus Christ, will you stop chewing so fucking loud?!?!' 'Must you clear your throat every 40 goddamn seconds?!' If I'm going to stay sober, I'll need earplugs.
Since I've been feeling as approachable as a cactus, I decided to take all this sunshine into the basement. I think I should have gone to the far back corner of said basement. My cheap headphones didn't help much either. I have a subscription to a meditation app that is helpful but still takes work for me. It's funny to think of having to work at relaxing but there you have it. The noise seeping through doesn't help but when you really need to relax and you don't have any herbs available might I suggest fighting noise with noise? I recommend the song "I've Seen All Good People" from The Yes Album. So, dear reader, what do you do to stay out of prison?
Wednesday, March 31, 2021
Friday, March 19, 2021
Spring is Springing Like it or not!
I am in the semi not category. Spring cheers a lot of people. I can understand why. The weather is finally improving and there's a feeling that better days are coming. We can all use some of that these days, this year more than most. What I dread about the whole thing is the yard work and the bugs. I'm hoping I won't have much time for that once this pandemic nightmare is over. On the other hand, given how much I can't stand my fellow man, I may end up staying home again to avoid all the other yahoos who feel the desperate need to get out.
Allergies are also in full bloom. If you aren't personally afflicted, you still get the shared joy from those who are. My yard sale has been cancelled or rather postponed indefinitely due the virus, too. I was looking forward to the cash and the clearance. The uncertainty of it all is definitely bugging me. I don't know how to handle things like summer camp and religious education. Now is the time people sign up but I'm in no hurry to send any nonrefundable deposits for things that may not happen. I can't say I've ever had a whole lot of faith in humanity, certainly not when money is involved.
We managed to pull off a reasonable Easter, albeit the wierdest one I've ever seen. Mother's Day will most likely be underwhelming given the fact that no one is going out shopping except Mom, and that's for food. My spouse is a big proponent of shopping every other week now. Things are getting mighty grim when going to the grocery store is a big to do. It's also a game of I-wonder-what-they're-out-of-this-time, further adding to the stress. The shopping experience has turned surreal.
I never understood how hard it is to fight off panic until I saw empty shelves in person at my local supermarket. The shelves are staying empty in our case, too. My family has gotten so used to mom being home that I don't think it occurs to them that "managing the family inventory" is actually a job now. They just seem to go get something out of the fridge or pantry with no thought to how it got there! I would also like to point out that I am not a food dispenser, I am actually a CPA, and a writer.
I refuse to think too far ahead. It's already a struggle against depression, let's not make it worse. If I were to think far into the future, it will be to plan a thank God this is over party!
Allergies are also in full bloom. If you aren't personally afflicted, you still get the shared joy from those who are. My yard sale has been cancelled or rather postponed indefinitely due the virus, too. I was looking forward to the cash and the clearance. The uncertainty of it all is definitely bugging me. I don't know how to handle things like summer camp and religious education. Now is the time people sign up but I'm in no hurry to send any nonrefundable deposits for things that may not happen. I can't say I've ever had a whole lot of faith in humanity, certainly not when money is involved.
We managed to pull off a reasonable Easter, albeit the wierdest one I've ever seen. Mother's Day will most likely be underwhelming given the fact that no one is going out shopping except Mom, and that's for food. My spouse is a big proponent of shopping every other week now. Things are getting mighty grim when going to the grocery store is a big to do. It's also a game of I-wonder-what-they're-out-of-this-time, further adding to the stress. The shopping experience has turned surreal.
I never understood how hard it is to fight off panic until I saw empty shelves in person at my local supermarket. The shelves are staying empty in our case, too. My family has gotten so used to mom being home that I don't think it occurs to them that "managing the family inventory" is actually a job now. They just seem to go get something out of the fridge or pantry with no thought to how it got there! I would also like to point out that I am not a food dispenser, I am actually a CPA, and a writer.
I refuse to think too far ahead. It's already a struggle against depression, let's not make it worse. If I were to think far into the future, it will be to plan a thank God this is over party!
Friday, March 5, 2021
Quit shouldding on yourself Part 112
We are knee/thigh deep in the corona virus pandemic at this writing. I have Not taught my daughter how to cook or sew, started my garden, or even written a novel. We still struggle with too much screen time and so far I've managed to not live in my pajamas every day. My girl has kept up with her homework and flute practice. When it's been decent outside, I've managed to drag my family around the block a few times. I did manage to complete an online course or two to maintain my CPA certificate, albeit barely. I did get our tax returns done as well.
This hasn't stopped time from flying for some bizarre reason. One would have thought without anywhere to go and not much to do, time would drag on but no such luck. The house is still messy, too. My dining room has been eaten by Mom's tax returns and my daughter's school work, or at least the table has. The living room is littered with couch blankets, pillows, and snack remnants, as usual. This doesn't feel any different from life without a pandemic in the way. I can't say I'm bored. My midlife crisis is a lot more obvious without the facade of my prepandemic routines to obfuscate the view. That is depressing.
I have managed to finally reach out to a college and leave a message about going back. Regrettably, this whole quarantine nightmare has been giving me more time to peek in on social media. This is not good because I'm entering a world of a lot of other people with too much free time. These folks are not shy about bragging. Oy.
Here's the bonus wierd thing. I haven't been sleeping more than usual. I set my alarm to get up during the week so I can get my daughter up to start her schoolwork. The upside to elearning is the lack of being late for a change. I also kind of enjoy not having somewhere to rush off to. This is going to be one huge adjustment when things do finally open up again. I'm pretty sure our punctuality will not have improved. Can I brag about the stuff we haven't done?
This hasn't stopped time from flying for some bizarre reason. One would have thought without anywhere to go and not much to do, time would drag on but no such luck. The house is still messy, too. My dining room has been eaten by Mom's tax returns and my daughter's school work, or at least the table has. The living room is littered with couch blankets, pillows, and snack remnants, as usual. This doesn't feel any different from life without a pandemic in the way. I can't say I'm bored. My midlife crisis is a lot more obvious without the facade of my prepandemic routines to obfuscate the view. That is depressing.
I have managed to finally reach out to a college and leave a message about going back. Regrettably, this whole quarantine nightmare has been giving me more time to peek in on social media. This is not good because I'm entering a world of a lot of other people with too much free time. These folks are not shy about bragging. Oy.
Here's the bonus wierd thing. I haven't been sleeping more than usual. I set my alarm to get up during the week so I can get my daughter up to start her schoolwork. The upside to elearning is the lack of being late for a change. I also kind of enjoy not having somewhere to rush off to. This is going to be one huge adjustment when things do finally open up again. I'm pretty sure our punctuality will not have improved. Can I brag about the stuff we haven't done?
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