Tuesday, April 10, 2018

The perfect squirrel

  I am going to go off my typical topics and basically whine, sob, complain and otherwise gripe. I got some bad news from my daughter's specialist.  Our brilliant, beautiful, and funny bunny has Adhd. In fact, she's lousy with it. This is hardly a surprise. I guess the label makes me sad. We are currently choosing to abstain from medication. I blame my husband's DNA. Nonetheless, this is the way God made her and I certainly don't love her any less. She will also not be doomed to a life of living in our basement, by any means.  The very fact that my spouse has managed just fine in his life so far is reason for hope.
   It was also a good thing that we went through the testing, expensive and exhausting though it was. I did get some tips on how to make our lives easier and learning about what areas our girl needs help with gives me some direction for research. Another good thing we learned was that our school is largely doing a good job helping her. This is also not a surprise since we moved here just for the school district before she was born.
   The only downside is the specialist recommended that we organize our girl's life as much as possible. This should be interesting. I don't even have my s**t together, how am I supposed to do it for someone else?! I never thought I would consider myself lucky to be unemployed.  It's going to take us a while to get our collective ducks in a row. Right now, it's more of a mosh pit. I am also somewhat grateful our house is small, although that has bugged me in the past.
   Of course the biggest thing to hang onto is that things could be worse. I was not told that she needed pantloads of medicine immediately, or worse yet, hospitalization.  There are also plenty of famous successful people with Adhd, thanks Google. Sooner or later, we will get things better organized, even if I haven't quite figured out how yet. My problem is that I'm a fine one for telling others to eat your elephant one bite at a time but when I have to do it I feel like I'm getting trampled by the herd!
  Thank you for sticking with me through this rant. The pity party is over, for now. It was sadly lacking tequila anyway. It's now time for me to put on my big girl bloomers and get on with it.


Monday, April 2, 2018

My behavior chart

   Those that know me know I'm typically late for everything. New Year's resolutions are no exception. We are already a few months into the new year and so far I've managed to establish one or two new "good habits" but it appears I could use some more help. It feels like I'm supporting an army of therapists between myself, my daughter, and the two of us as a couple. You'd think we'd be the most well adjusted people on the planet. The problem seems to be remembering to follow the advice we're given.
   I'm  guessing the primary problem is laziness. Routines are comfortable, after all, and changing them takes effort. It also takes presence of mind. Frequently, we either forget what we've been told or remember ten minutes before bed. So how do I remedy the problem? My daughter has a behavior chart, do we need one, too? Do I make it neon, blinking, and about the size of a manhole cover? Should I completely cover the television? Do we build in rewards?
   I need to prioritize before this gets too overwhelming. It would also help to get an idea of what exactly the grown ups are trying to pull off here. I may even have to do something crazy like involve my spouse.  I'm a big fan of lists, as long as I remember where I put them.  Maybe I could start small to medium say, with something bright and eye level on the refrigerator. If I went any bigger I would have to move our daughter's art gallery and God only knows where I'd find space for that.
   What are these lofty goals that are so vexing? Oddly enough, it's nothing we're not capable of so much as making time to do them. I would say our problem as a family is our ability to unplug from technology. I'm finding out that the grownups have issues as much as our daughter. Ironic, since yours truly is the harasser in chief for our daughter to take breaks from her majesty's screens! I may try to keep a little diary of my own time just out of curiosity to see how much I'm spending on Facebook, and my gem game. Should I consider a diet? Do I go completely insane and try to survive a whole day cold Turkey? What's next, a polar bear plunge? Strange to think I'm a member of the last generation to have grown up without technology being so ubiquitous as it is today.
   It doesn't take long to get used to these new toys though. Despite the fact that we survived up to this point without them, it's remembering how that gets fuzzy. It's a  lot like life before our daughter was born, I know we had one, but how was it, exactly? Seeing as how our lives do seem to revolve around our offspring, it does make me want to look at the fish pond she swims in as well. She is the child of a couple of dinosaurs. We remember 8 tracks, for you fellow relics.
   Most fellow parents are younger than we are, and it seems the technology addiction is everywhere. It has also invaded her school. We are being forced to sign up for apps to join activities now. Whatever happened to sending a note home? (Use recycled paper for all you tree lovers out there.)  I use my phone too much already.  I also don't need WiFi to read a piece of paper. Computer science is also a subject taught in fourth grade, and I believe she's had it for years now.
   This will be a struggle, but somehow I will find a way to get us all less plugged in and more connected - to each other. I'm open to suggestions, feel free to email me!