Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Hodge Podge

   Recently, I noticed another person’s blog post that was basically a mish mosh of shorter but good pieces that the author felt were too short to be a post by themselves. It’s been really difficult to stay out of politics but I am still trying to keep myself neutral online (like Switzerland). I have also been having a great deal of trouble coming up with topics for my own blog but there is no shortage of random brain farts at my house. To that end, I humbly present the following:

  I am on an old person’s home exercise program. I go upstairs and forget why I’m up there so I go downstairs, then I remember. Why do I never forget what I’m after in the refrigerator?

  In the face of the most recent unpopular management decision (bedtime, in this case), my daughter loudly announced “I”m not happy!” I asked her which dwarf she was “Grumpy? Sleepy? Dopey?” Her response : “MMMooooooooommmm!!!”  Was there a dwarf named Bitter? I’d totally be that guy.

  “Probiotic” - because “Makes you Poop” doesn’t look good on product labels.

  The Orthodontist saw her shadow. My daughter has to wear her mouth guard for twelve more weeks.

  My nephew once asked me what kind of coffee we drink. I told him “Throw-a-shoe-at-your-head-get-up blend” or Formula number 47 Varnish. When we have overnight guests, I am not allowed to make the coffee.

  Sleep, may as well call it mommy crack. The more you get, the more you want.

   My doctor told me he believes my hair loss is due to stress. He didn’t tell me how to stop stressing out over my thinning hair.

  We will soon be going through our things to get ready for a spring yard sale. It used to be that toys would emit a distress signal and suddenly become fascinating when being eyed up for a sale. Due to a video game addiction, regular toys no longer have to disappear by stealth. I miss the good old days bigtime.

   My daughter is writing a book for a school project. Her story is better than mine and there is no writer’s block for her. She hates to write. WTF??!!
   Have you ever opened a closet in your house and been attacked? Our freezer is over filled and I was recently assaulted by a crapalanche of frozen vegetables when I was trying to defrost something for dinner. I didn’t even start cooking and my kitchen was dangerous.

    I’m beginning to think I should start throwing wild parties if I’m going to feel like this anyway. I will at least have had fun the night before.

  During a storm last year, we lost power briefly. The next day I remember telling my mother that the storm was scary but we came through just fine. “The television went out, but thankfully not for long. We were in danger of having to talk to each other! Whew! Dodged a bullet there.”

  Thus concludes the mish mosh. I am still scrounging for ideas. Feel free to make suggestions.


Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Drawing a blank

  I have often heard people say that a writer should be writing. They are referring to the discipline required to complete a project.  This is great, especially if you’re working on a novel or your job actually involves writing. What if you’re only writing small pieces for a blog and/or possible magazine submission? I admit that like anything else, if you want the success, you have to put the work in. The problem is my motivation, or lack of it. I am really struggling to find something to write about. 

  Too much has been going wrong at home these days. When you enjoy writing humor and not a damn thing is funny, what do you do? I’ve been looking at my screen going, “I got nothing.” This is  the reason for the lack of posts from yours truly. I live with two walking wealths of material so you’d think this wouldn’t be a problem but for some reason I seem to be stuck.

  I also run into a minor problem of finding little gold nuggets but forgetting to write them down. Slowly, I am getting better at that by using a memo feature on my phone. When I can I try to put ideas for posts there, too. 

  I’ve also been looking at other people’s posts. I admit I am jealous of how prolific they are. 

  Most of these folks aren’t writing in my genre but I wouldn’t think that would matter, a block is a block, after all. It’s a good idea to forgive myself for this, too. I’d rather not put out anything than just a placeholder.  I could just do a political rant. I have been trying to stay neutral and not put my opinions out there on that score. I’ve seen good friends fight too much over politics. I run the risk of ending up even more depressed with all the venom out there. 

  Looking around at my fellow humans should help. After all, if I spoke half of the things I thought about what I’ve observed people do I would probably have been jailed by now. It’s probably the reason people describe my husband as “patient” and “takes abuse well”. He’s always saying that ‘Barb’ is an apt nickname for me.

  If the problem is stress, maybe I can work on some short term solutions to help since a vacation doesn’t look doable in the near future. Alcohol has too many calories and picking up my daughter hung over doesn’t play well with the elementary school crowd. I’m getting my fair share of exercise so recently I’ve decided to try the opposite, meditation. Funny how it actually takes work to relax. It’s an actual effort to find five quiet minutes to do this. 

  I did read a post from someone recently that was a bit of a disjointed mish mosh. I’m thinking this was a great idea. This person had several good snippets laying around that were too short to be good posts on their own and so she put them together. So far, I’m low on snippets but it can take the proverbial heat off by feeling like I have to produce a whole cogent piece right now.

  I’m thinking this is a great idea and who knows, maybe it’ll be just the cattle prod I need to get out of this rut. I know I can’t “force inspiration”, but a little nudge would be nice. In the meantime, I will keep trying.