Recently, I saw a friend post on Facebook that he saw pumpkin spice coffee at WaWa in August. I thought, 'don't worry, in ten minutes it'll be Christmas'. I think the retail after summer sling shot to the holidays is really bad for a mommy who feels overwhelmed already. For me, they're just heaping on more s**t I'm not ready for- and in a shameless money grab to boot.
I'm amazed like everyone else how fast the summer flew by. Funny to think how I was worried about how I was going to keep our girl busy all summer and now she started third grade this month! It still feels like I just brought her home from the hospital. Tempus fugit does not need any help.
I look forward to the weekend for obvious reasons but is that really such a bright idea? Most people don't have the luxury of either a job they love or independent wealth. How do you find pieces at least of your week to enjoy so you're not 'looking forward' past your whole life? I don't want my week to be something to 'kill off' at least not completely.
So how do I pull out of my personal vortex? My week blurs by in a to do list of household crap. I find this funny in the sense that I'm a stay at home mom. You'd think I'd have free time. I haven't been bored since I was 8. I would be baffled as to why the house isn't immaculate but that's a wall of pudding because of the 2 children I clean up after, ages 8 and 53. There's plenty I would like to do but it seems I don't often make it past the brussels sprouts portion of the list, at least not during the day.
Getting it all done so you won't be sorry is a big cattle prod but is it really such a bright idea? How important is this really? What's the worst that will happen if it doesn't all get done? Will something explode?
It seems odd to me that the things I journal about always end up resolving themselves. Every single time I go back through those hand written pages of worries they always turn out fine. I wish I had a grip on that fact from the beginning. If there is objective evidence that worrying is a waste of time, why do I keep doing it? I can only surmise it must be a deeply ingrained habit.
Maybe the problem is my vision. My eyes are way bigger than my stomach when it comes to all the things I want to get done. There's no way I can pull it all off, not without a cape and phone booth. Some things simply will not get done and I have trouble accepting that sometimes. It would also help me to keep my eyes on myself, too. I am not the Martha Stewart type. When I am lucky enough to come up with something creative, it's usually in response to an emergency. There will never be a birthday party with homemade perfectly decorated anything in our future.
Those close to me also know that I am notoriously late for everything. Maybe the way to get ahead is to take a step back. I'll settle for baby steps on this one since we know what a basket of sunshine I am early in the morning. I'm trying to get up a few extra minutes early to allow more time for the harassment campaign known as getting my daughter ready for school. Once during the first week of school I fell asleep and was late to go get our girl. Baby steps apparently came back to kick me in the butt.
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