Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Hodge Podge

   Recently, I noticed another person’s blog post that was basically a mish mosh of shorter but good pieces that the author felt were too short to be a post by themselves. It’s been really difficult to stay out of politics but I am still trying to keep myself neutral online (like Switzerland). I have also been having a great deal of trouble coming up with topics for my own blog but there is no shortage of random brain farts at my house. To that end, I humbly present the following:

  I am on an old person’s home exercise program. I go upstairs and forget why I’m up there so I go downstairs, then I remember. Why do I never forget what I’m after in the refrigerator?

  In the face of the most recent unpopular management decision (bedtime, in this case), my daughter loudly announced “I”m not happy!” I asked her which dwarf she was “Grumpy? Sleepy? Dopey?” Her response : “MMMooooooooommmm!!!”  Was there a dwarf named Bitter? I’d totally be that guy.

  “Probiotic” - because “Makes you Poop” doesn’t look good on product labels.

  The Orthodontist saw her shadow. My daughter has to wear her mouth guard for twelve more weeks.

  My nephew once asked me what kind of coffee we drink. I told him “Throw-a-shoe-at-your-head-get-up blend” or Formula number 47 Varnish. When we have overnight guests, I am not allowed to make the coffee.

  Sleep, may as well call it mommy crack. The more you get, the more you want.

   My doctor told me he believes my hair loss is due to stress. He didn’t tell me how to stop stressing out over my thinning hair.

  We will soon be going through our things to get ready for a spring yard sale. It used to be that toys would emit a distress signal and suddenly become fascinating when being eyed up for a sale. Due to a video game addiction, regular toys no longer have to disappear by stealth. I miss the good old days bigtime.

   My daughter is writing a book for a school project. Her story is better than mine and there is no writer’s block for her. She hates to write. WTF??!!
   Have you ever opened a closet in your house and been attacked? Our freezer is over filled and I was recently assaulted by a crapalanche of frozen vegetables when I was trying to defrost something for dinner. I didn’t even start cooking and my kitchen was dangerous.

    I’m beginning to think I should start throwing wild parties if I’m going to feel like this anyway. I will at least have had fun the night before.

  During a storm last year, we lost power briefly. The next day I remember telling my mother that the storm was scary but we came through just fine. “The television went out, but thankfully not for long. We were in danger of having to talk to each other! Whew! Dodged a bullet there.”

  Thus concludes the mish mosh. I am still scrounging for ideas. Feel free to make suggestions.