Happy birthday to who?

    Today my baby is ten! She is so excited to reach double digits, mommy, not so much. Coping with my birthday was tough enough. I remember my father 's words, 'It could be worse, you could have a kid your age!'. He couldn't have been more right but today is definitely a layer cake of emotions for me. I enjoy seeing her happy, but getting older scares me. It was comforting to hang onto the little kid phases because hey, I can't be that old if I'm the parent of a toddler, right?
   There is an upside to the changes. She is remarkably perceptive when she wants to be and can certainly do a lot more for herself.  The downside of course, is when you realize that you aren't needed as much, shouldn't you be doing something else? Therein lies the rub. What, exactly "else" should that be? I've only been trying to answer that question for the last ten years now! Time hasn't been going by any slower to give me time to figure this out, either.
   I did manage to put a thumbnail scratch in this iceberg recently when I spoke to one of my daughter's school counselors to find out how she got where she was in her job. It was enlightening and somewhat scary but I'm glad I did. The education required and the internships sounded overwhelming but at least I found out what was involved. I also got some good advice from a friend who suggested rather than going back to school, I should consider getting a job at a school to see if I even like the environment.
   Smart friends can be a real asset, but they can also be a pain in the ass when they make you think! There was no arguing that she had a point. There is also the minor detail that we, as of this writing, have zero income coming in and a degree can cost around $26,000. There is also one more consideration, the bane of my existence, letting go. How is this a problem? Some people have gotten a bit spoiled with Mom being home full time. If I am working, that leaves less time to spoil people.
   How do I manage to let people do more for themselves and dare I dream it?, help more around the house? If you want to get really crazy, being less bitter about what slobs I live with would go a long way to saving my sanity, too.  How exactly does one pull this off? I'm open to suggestions.