Let It Be

   I've recently discovered this title isn't just a great Beatles song. Our circle of friends includes my husband's high school friend and his wife. They have a daughter the same age as ours. You would think that would be very handy, and for years it was. The girls played with each other at every gathering we had, it was great, built in entertainment! Enter the hormone fairy and that b**ch ruins everything. The girls are getting into the tween years and we are dealing with moodiness, to say the least.
   The last few times we had gotten the usual suspects together,  the girls barely said "boo" to each other. What's a mom to do? The short answer, as far as I can tell, would be to keep my big beak out of it. People of any age change as they get older, tweens seem to do it faster than tornadoes. I also can't force the kids to be friends per se. I was however, hoping they could manage to hang out together for a few hours. I have absolutely no time while I'm hosting a party to worry about her majesty's entertainment.
   We also have the issue of electronics manners, which, I admit, we need to work on. I am referring to pulling one's face out of the screen vortex long enough to be sociable. Some grownups also have this issue I know, but I try to model good behavior. One of the issues I've noticed we're lousy at is advanced preparation of our tech addicted kiddo. She has always had problems with transitions and remembering things. When you're dealing with a tween who's adhd you really need to write things down - on neon paper - in huge print - blinking if possible.

   It's a short attention span world and I'm fighting the screen addiction as hard as I fight  too much sugar. I'm having better luck on the sugar front. I've run into the problem of the fishpond we swim in. If I manage to get my kiddo off her screens for a while I run into plenty of other parents who don't. Too much screen time is especially bad for an adhd brain. I have to navigate other situations I never saw coming. If we're going to a party at someone else's house, is it okay to let our girl bring a device? We've considered it bad form unless I find out other kids who may be there have their screens! I tell my mom, "You old people had it so easy!".
    Some gatherings are better than others and I am wondering if maybe some generic written warning might be a good idea. If I have something laying around before I need it, that may help. I just need to find paper that blinks!

Is it McTax time?

   It's funny how a New Year hasn't done much to change the same old problems. Happy birthday to my midlife crisis. Those that know me are aware that I have a background as a C.P.A. but I've recently been substitute teaching for my daughter's district. It's been good for feeling useful and bringing in a couple of bucks. As we enter the season of jingle bills, however, I am feeling the need to up my income. Since we can always count on death and taxes and morticians sound like even less fun than accountants, I'm going back to taxation (or at least trying).
  So far my efforts have been yielding precisely bupkus. My old coonections in the accounting world are apparently past ancient. This appears to be a question of commitment and managing expectations. Mommy articles will mention that when you first become a parent it's important to keep your hand in your old profession so you're not "stale" when you choose to return. What they don't mention is what to do if you weren't really interested in returning to said "old profession". I believe I also don't recall reading anything about being blindsided by a death in the family or having an infant with "failure to thrive" problems in the first year either.
    Once again, I am late to the party. What I was hoping for was to find was a small independent C.P.A. firm willing to hire a mom on a part time basis to help me bring in a few bucks and still let me get out in time to pick up my daughter from school. The problem was I managed to flounder through November and December just substitute teaching.  I was supposed to be launching a full court press to find something for mid February.
   This effort, such as it was, flopped. I tried to research H&R Block. I found out that you had to pay for their training, which I deeply resented (the paying part, not the training). I was able to stop by a local office and speak to a human. While they did say you had to pay for training, there was an exam you could take and weasel out of said training. I tried the exam and while I didn't pass, I was happy that someone at least told me about the opportunity. Job hunting is lonely and frustrating in that you get nothing in the way of responses and it feels a bit isolating.
    So here I am, somewhat whiney and underemployed. I need to remember that there's still a difference between underemployed and completely unemployed. I do not plan on giving up. We can't afford that. Cussing a lot, however, self pity, and wine, as well as whine are still on the list so far. Is there a normal time allotment for wallowing? I'll see if I can fit some gratitude in there, too.

   Plot twist/update: I've decided to"splurge" on the H&R Block class and grad school because nothing goes better with under employment than spending big bucks. Stay tuned!

Tempus needs to stop

  It's approaching Thanksgiving, as of this writing. Forget how fast the year is flying by, my morning just flew by in a sneeze. It's going to take one concerted effort on my part to be here now, as they say. I keep picturing claw marks as I'm inexorably dragged through my holiday season. I 'm not ready yet! I promised myself last year I would have started cards or shopping or cookie dough by now. I'm a filthy liar and gullible as hell because last year, I believed me!
   The mission, it seems, is to let go of what does or doesn't get done and just enjoy. Maybe I should just settle for leaping over tall buildings in a single bound.  I could just start small and focus on ten minute bursts. The problem is that I'm not having much luck with that either. I've been trying to meditate for over a year now and I think I've managed a whole three minutes in one shot. I blame the house and my older brain. Old habits die hard is another understatement for the ages.
   'Focus on your breath', my tablet says. 'What do I have to get done today?' said the brain. 'Scan the body and notice how the body feels.' says the meditation app. 'Is it too early for winter skin? Why am I so itchy?'....and so it goes. If I could blindfold and gag my brain maybe I'd get somewhere.
   My love hate relationship with Facebook continues. I have plenty of friends who are actually pulling off the whole "doing festive things". I am still baffled by where are they getting the money for this and how the hell do you remember to take a picture and post it?! My daughter is the most well documented kid on the planet. Mommy and Daddy, not so much. I'd have to ask my spouse how he feels about the lack of adult pictures. There was that one time someone mistook my husband for my Father! We were out having dinner with his family and I laughed my *ss off. I can only assume he's not that sorry about the lack of photographic evidence.