The New #$&%×÷ 'Normal' ?

   It's Monday the 48th of Blurapmaj, although my calendar is calling it May 4. We are neither back to school or the office and it's still not looking good for either one anytime soon. I am moving at a glacier's pace toward starting back to school for a graduate degree. I expect a lot of class time for me will be spent online and I'm good with that. Pandemics can be both good and bad when you're a bit of an introvert.
    The good part for me, besides saving gas, will be feeling safe. Staying home lets me avoid both crime and a virus. There's also the added bonus that even when this 'pandemic nightmare' is over I will be in no hurry to get out. Why the hell not?!  You may ask? Everyone else is!  Simply for that very reason, I will be happy to continue to stay home. This country reopening will be like Christmas on steroids. Despite lawmakers best efforts to 'protect the red shirts', you can bet that everywhere you go will be mobbed. I hate my fellow man, no thanks, I'll pass.
    I will have to go out and in some instances, I'll want to. My gyms will eventually reopen and I don't think there'll be any Post pandemic resolutions to worry about. The other issue I have to figure out is Summer. Our little screen addict may not have a Summer camp this year, for obvious reasons. This, of course, leaves someone I know with too much free time. Nevermind the fact that she owns two loaded toy shelves of games and crafts. This kid has gone completely blind to anything not a video game. This not only frustrates the crap out of mommy but also puts me in a bit of a bind.
    'Since when am I the entertainment committee? Find something to play with!' 'Will you get off your screens already?!' Therein lies the problem when you have an only child. The only in house babysitters are electronic! It's also hard to play a board game when you have no one else to play with. In a way, mom does end up being the entertainment committee, for at least part of the day. It's going to take a lot of planning to survive this summer. I see a few day trips in our future. The alcohol goes without saying.

We who are not in the mood for this, salute you!

   Mondays have always been a pain, unless I'm on vacation. Those close to me may also recall that I have a long history of depression. I won't get into the gory details but suffice it to say that I need to be on the lookout for triggers and plan for them. These days it's been a much bigger fight than usual. I am once again, along with a huge swath of America, unemployed. Add miserable weather, a quarantine, and my spouse and child being fully occupied and you've got a recipe for some sour brain stew. It's not that I have nothing to do per se. It's feeling like what I'm doing is valuable.
   I am running into a bonus wrinkle at the moment. What "nonvaluable" things I do every day still have to get done whether I feel good or not. That's irony for you. The older I get, the harder it gets to fight my way through illness. My brain has yet to acknowledge this. Slowly I am being forced to learn to take it easy on myself.  It's a "lucky" thing for me to be unemployed on days like this but I also don't get a paid sick day, either.
   I've become an eat your frog first kind of person these days. A friend reminded me to focus on the aftermath. It always feels good to get anything I'm not fond of in the rearview. Hopefully that may help me with the whole getting started issue. Small steps are also still steps. I think I need to get that tattooed somewhere. It would also be great to plan small rewards that don't involve food. It's funny to think how much I have in common with my daughter! 'Mommy I don't want to!' seems to have no age limit. It would also help to ignore the whole monotony of chores that never seem to 'stay done', too.
   Mommy could also use to taker her own advice and eat the never ending elephant one bite at a time. Once again, I let myself get sucked into my own personal vortex. Lists come in handy for a few reasons. Killing off anything written down gives me a feeling of accomplishment, even if it's small. Plus it also takes care of the 'I'll remember to do that' delusion. Looking too far ahead is a real problem for me, so even my lists have to be done carefully. I have a tendency to write down things like 'get a Master's degree' as opposed to 'how about we contact Rutgers?'.
    The sooner I start whatever hemorrhoid of the day, the sooner I get rid of it. Have a good one, whatever you're doing!