Stop shoulding on yourself!

   It's been a pretty good summer so far. As of this writing, it is mid August and I am enjoying the last few days of relative freedom before the end of summer camp. The last few days, however, my old friend, guilt, has been rearing its ugly head, a bit more than usual. I'm blaming my spouse, I think he's contagious. After fourteen years of employment in the same place, he has recently found himself unemployed. This was a lot like watching Wile E. Coyote hit a brick wall.
   So why the guilt? I believe it's the fish pond I'm swimming in. My spouse, in response to this "new normal", has been job hunting like mad and when he's not, he's been doing laundry, vacuuming, cleaning our basement and other such useful things. Mommy, on the other hand, has been not quite so busy. Boy does that feel wierd!! I was actually trying to scrape up something to do to avoid that elephant in the room, known as my mid life crisis. I should be sending out submissions and researching college courses, but that laundry he did needs to be folded! Is there a career that involves avoidance? If there is, I've found my calling.
   I always knew I was an odd bird, it's the degree of weirdness that can throw me for a loop. I am guessing this lack of discipline stems from lack of desire and/or fear. You must not want X bad enough if you're not willing to do Y to get it. That much I can understand. I'm disappointed in how my sense of discipline has gone downhill. When I was younger I pulled off the CPA exam and managed my 5th degree black belt, so what happened? Change is scary, so I'm sure that's part of it. I also need to eat my elephant one bite at a time but I could use a good plan of attack - or recipe?
     UPDATE:  Seven months have flown by and I have seen a career counselor. My husband is still home and seriously freaking out. I have completed only about 30 applications but I found a "bridge" job. I will begin, of all things, substitute teaching in a few weeks. I am still in the process of jumping through the necessary hoops but I am making headway. The commute will be less than five minutes so I'm sure to be barely on time. This will be a huge change and an education for me. The funny part is if I thought my own kid was a wealth of material to write about, this new adventure might just generate a book. Stay tuned, dear reader!