The teapot is boiling again!

  I may have mentioned this previously but we, as a couple, use a therapist. This has been going on for about a year now. Things have gotten better but I have zero patience and even less diplomatic skills. I may have mentioned that I'm a lot like my father in that I tend to keep things that bother me quiet until it finally explodes. I will admit that recently I've been stressed out and I know when that happens I get even more prickly than usual. When there's too much I can't control around me I can get overfocused on the piddly things I can.
   I believe this is only part of the problem. My spouse thinks it's the whole issue, or seems to, anyway. It reminds me of when a guy would blame something on your pms when in fact No, you're an asshole AND I happen to have my period. I believe that a lot of what's bugging me is, in fact, minor. My husband is an oblivious slob but still a good husband and father. While I see no reason to throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak, I could use to learn to ask for help Before said water boils over.
   Knowing that I'm dealing with someone who doesn't see a damn thing when it comes to mess should make it easier in a sense in that you know you need to tell them everything. That still gets old quick and the bad example it sets only further aggravates me. I will admit I could also probably use to chill out about the house, among other things. If you quote me in public, I'll deny it.
   His parents have been gone for years. I wish I could ask his mom if she taught him any life skills. Do we, as parents, create problems for other women to deal with later? Is this largely a problem with males? My spouse is better than my father was but I am still baffled by the high tolerance for crap everywhere. I joke the reason we don't have a pet is that I've barely got my husband house broken, much less a dog. I'm also lucky to be working part time, what happens if I start working full time?
   I understand why my mom was such a miserable person growing up. Marrying a slob and staying there had a lot to do with it. My parents didn't really have the physical end of things to deal with, either. What happens when only one of you cares about self maintenance? I am the victim of the "I'm  married, I can let myself go" mentality. Most likely, I'm in the minority here. I have a lot of friends who, one could argue, are proponents of this philosophy. My reasons for being into fitness run long and deep. I'm not expecting my husband to become something he never was, but I  am asking for a little more muscle tone than jello. How are the chores divided at your house?