Monday, December 6, 2021

The Flatulent Brain

   It apears I have several dwarves covered. I'm bloated, stressed, overwhelmed, cranky and tired. Since I can't wait for a new year, you'd think that my mortal enemy, tempus fugit, could be a good thing for once. The problem is that I'm a bit too busy for my taste and could use to enjoy some of the fall before it's gone. The plan is to do that this weekend. It's cheesey but I love the hayride to a pumpkin patch, the obligatory cider and donuts, and a corn maze. It doesn't quite rival the beach but I would miss it if we didn't go. 

   It's another instance of my impatience. Years ago, I wrote in a green journal about everything that I was worried about on any given day or week. Pages later, in my own hand, is evidence that everything turned out fine and all the work got done. I would starve as a fortune teller yet somehow my brain won't give up the fretting. This time of year has a small level of sadness to it anyway. My sister passed away on Halloween. We both loved the holiday and I still do but I get a tinge of blues with it now.  A small dose of Autumn leaves and sunshine certainly couldn't hurt.

   I could use to remember that this year, in particular, is fubar. Subsequently, addiional slack will need to be cut. Things that were doable last year may not work  this year. When we researched our usual pumpkin patch we discovered that you had to reserve hay rides in advance. This was new because of covid and I didn't have to reserve a spot last year. They were booked solid and we missed the ride this year. I was disappointed but I was able to let it go as being a one off pain in the ass and hopefully next year will be better. We did manage a corn maze, cider, and good donuts.

   There is bonus stress due to school. I understand my daughter's internal pressure to want to do well, now. I had a big project due for my master's degree and I had a tough time with this. I'm still getting my legs under me after being out of school for 30 years! It's taking longer than I would like. It's also a bigger time commitment than I expected. I've learned that so far, I can handle two classes a semester at most. I haven't done any substitute teaching this year, either. I don't know how people do this with a full time job. Remembering how lucky I am to be able to do this while staying home helps a lot.

    This is probably the first year in a long time in which the Merry Hallothankmas retailers are pushing will actually come in handy. I need the help to remind me to start preparing and I'll be glad to see 2020 go. The work will get done, as always. I will be forced to let some things go. I don't have a cape and phone booth. It would be a good idea to ask for help occasionally, too but let's not get crazy.  I'm hopeful this next year will be an improvement. I certainly don't want to know if rock bottom has a basement.

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