We hit a rough patch on the homework trail recently. It was one of those nights when I had to sit next to our 9 year old almost the whole time while she did her homework. It was painful and lasted right up until bedtime. Our beautiful and brilliant Adhd girl needs an absolutely barren workspace to get anything done as well as frequent check ins from me in the next room. I will ask her how many problems are left, whether she's stuck on something, how she's making out, or anything else I can think of to remind her that she's supposed to be doing her homework.
This is not unusual, from what I've read. Some nights do go better than others. Our girl has had problems shifting from one activity to the next since she was small so I have to tell her we are attacking homework at 5:30, which we do every night. I also have to tell her how much time that is from where we are currently and give warnings as to when it's time to switch. Why not just kill off the homework immediately after school? I would love to be able to get our girl into that routine and we may yet manage that in the future. It's just that for someone forced to largely sit still and behave for almost seven hours with a short recess, I figure our squirrel needs a break. I am also going under the theory that if she's in a better frame of mind, the homework will take less time.
This is assuming, she hasn't "forgot" her homework. Luckily, or unluckily?, I am the school bus so I try to double check her backpack in the parking lot before we leave. Someone once said "Trust, but verify." (Was it Reagan?) I'm not sure what we're going to do when we no longer have this luxury. The assignments themselves are online, but only some textbooks. I may have to consult with the teacher when the time comes. Leaving lunch leftovers, while gross, is not as big a deal since we do have a spare lunch bag. There is also the idea that sometimes she is going to have to take the consequences of forgetting in the hopes it will build some sense of responsibility, too.
Some nights, it just all goes to hell and I have to resort to jelly beans. We had a particularly large amount of math to kill off and it contained the dreaded "write math". These are problems in which you are asked to explain something in a sentence or two. My daughter wastes more time ranting about how much she hates it than actually getting it done. I hear this is common. The only way I could figure out how to get us both through this was to fill a shot glass with jelly beans to "help her along", while I used a write on wipe off to help her compose an answer she could then copy. Words fail to describe how much I wanted to refill that shot glass when she was done but I digress.
When you're knee deep in the struggle, it gets hard to remember the big picture. Are the grades okay overall? Have recent tests been good? I've also noticed that at least in our case, things are way better now than they were at the beginning of the school year, and certainly from the previous year. I am working on accepting that my daughter will never be free of ADHD, but I am still grateful that I believe our case is mild. Thankfully, the hellish nights are only occasional. So, dear reader, how goes the homework at your house?
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