The Urge to Strangle

   My spouse and I had already reached the 'Jesus-Christ-it's-you-again' part of our marriage before this whole pandemic nightmare began. How do you cope when you're 'trapped' in the house together? There have been plenty of jokes about how there will be a lot of babies and a lot of divorces when this is over. We are too old for either. The thought of all that bleach and a big back yard can get tempting when the farm animals you live with still refuse to clean up after themselves. Like they have something else better to do?!
    Our house is a two story 40 year old colonial. The bedrooms are a bit small and it's all I can keep up with despite wishing it was a little bigger. Things would have been even more crowded with crap around here if it weren't for our annual yard sales followed by Purple Heart donations. This year has so far been the exception. I'm convinced those yard sales (and the influence of my ex, a car dealer) are what enable us to actually use our garage for our vehicles. We are hiding a multitude of sins in the basement. I'm also struggling to figure out if the walls are too thin or we've all been home too long. I'm guessing the answer here is yes.
   We all have our foibles. I think there's something about too much togetherness and almost twenty years of marriage that can magnify them. This results in not enough wine. I understand why people day drink. It's not like we're driving anywhere. I'm fighting to save my empty calories until Friday. What if it's Monday at 11am? This goes past the messiness, too. My brain is incredibly busy even when I'm not. 'Jesus Christ, will you stop chewing so fucking loud?!?!' 'Must you clear your throat every 40 goddamn seconds?!' If I'm going to stay sober, I'll need earplugs.
   Since I've been feeling as approachable as a cactus, I decided to take all this sunshine into the basement. I think I should have gone to the far back corner of said basement. My cheap headphones didn't help much either. I have a subscription to a meditation app that is helpful but still takes work for me. It's funny to think of having to work at relaxing but there you have it. The noise seeping through doesn't help but when you really need to relax and you don't have any herbs available might I suggest fighting noise with noise? I recommend the song "I've Seen All Good People" from The Yes Album. So, dear reader, what do you do to stay out of prison?