It's week 147 the 49th of Blurjaugs and I'm working on, of all things, a "positive attitude"! Neither myself nor any of my family have gotten sick and while that is truly something to be grateful for, life is getting a bit tough in my suburban bubble. I am currently unemployed and grad school hasn't started yet, although it will soon. My daily "routine" depends on whether I need to do any major cleaning or shopping and my martial arts classes.
I'm lucky we have good friends. It's been a great help to see people here and there and play cards and chat. It's especially important to hear from other people that I am not alone. We are all worried and stuck not knowing what to do about school for the kids this year. You can really lose sight of that in quarantine! I am working on registering for a graduate school class for this fall. I have been having an enormous amount of trouble doing it. Taking a step back and realizing that other people I deal with are busy and don't care that I have nothing else to worry about right now also helps.
When I finally was able to register for the class I needed, the relief was almost physical. I guess it was the idea of regaining some shred of control that did it. Making the most of good news, however small, is important for helping me to maintain morale during this current s@÷tshow but also in general. Yes, I'm looking for a permanent change! That's it! She's clearly lost it!
This Summer has brought a lot of unwelcome changes so whatever relief I can get, I'll take. We have been forced to do day trips at the beach this year instead of our usual one week stay. The three times we went have been very good. No one got badly sunburnt, either. I'm hopeful we can fit one more in before school starts but if that doesn't work out, it's a comfort to know we still got there at all. Those trips have also provided some huge amounts of stress relief. I physically feel better afterward. My daughter having fun and being near the ocean are the two biggest reasons it helps me so much.
I am not ready for this Summer to be over. This is incredibly wierd since it's been such a let down. My guess is I am looking for more chances to make up the fun we're missing. Substitute teaching does scare me this year, as it will a lot of people, I'm sure. I hope I haven't set myself up for more than I can handle this fall. I plan to hang onto the fact that nothing I'm getting myself into can't be gotten out of. It's the lack of a paying job for me that's annoying. This pandemic can become a comfortable excuse though, too. It certainly caters to any fear of leaving the house.
There are ways to escape from covid stress, if I could just remember to use them! I've been seeing a lot of recordings of beaches online. That might be helpful to watch occasionally besides meditation, which I have yet to master. Exercise is not an issue for me, personally. I get plenty of that, although most of it is indoors. The martial arts piece of things is actually something of an escape in that it demands all of your attention to remember the moves in a form. It's hard to worry simultaneously! I'm grateful to not be the sort of person who eats too much under stress. Otherwise, I'd be huge by now.
I found a very good at home workout program to follow. It only takes about 20 minutes a day to complete a session with "workout barbie" as I call her. Really she's probably a perfectly ok person but I believe I own shoes her age somewhere. I live for the built in breaks of 15 seconds in each exercise. Not all of her videos have them. It's called madfit on YouTube. (You're welcome for the free plug, whoever you are.) They also don't need weights, which is very helpful. I miss my old classes with my old teacher but they had stopped before this pandemic nightmare anyway.
My husband has even tried a few of the videos although he prefers the beginners programs. The videos I follow are a bit intense. That doesn't bug me because I adjust my intensity to what I can do. I won't deny I am jealous of her bounciness, but such is life. I am just grateful that he's willing to finally do something. I've been harassing him to get in shape for years and I've gotten nothing but excuses. It's great that so far, at least, he's been trying. Old habits die hard. It's incredibly easy for me to get negative. Talk about turning over a new leaf.
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