The great unknown

   Here we go again, but not! I've just completed substitute teacher training for my local district. This is nothing like what I did last year before the pandemic hit. The classrooms are going hybrid this year. I could conceivably have the live captive audience I'm used to but also a gaggle of homebound ducklings learning remotely. The technology involved is a bit overwhelming. I was never trained when I began so even turning on the computer and smartboard was an occasional problem. I had no logins of my own and didn't know where anything was. I still don't know how to find morning announcements after being there a year! 

  The general attitude seemed to be don't worry, the kids will help you. I was less than thrilled with this since I wanted to feel like I had some shred of control. It was already obvious I was nervous as a newbie. The lack of training just increased the stress. I also found out from other subs that this was pretty much par for the course. High turnover is probably why it was so easy to get the job in the first place. The carrots were the hours, the location, and the flexibility to choose which days I worked. This year those are the only things that haven't changed, as far as I know. 

   I have now just read online that the kids at my preferred school will only be there for four hours a day in person. That may be helpful on one level but it doesn't take care of the biggest concern I have. My problem is the technology involved. The district's idea of training is not enough for some newbie dinosaurs. That which is supposed to make my life easier scares the hell out of me. Talk about fear of the unknown! There is a theory that goes just rip off the bandaid and jump in. I understand that up to a point but I have this crazy idea that I want to feel like I know what I'm doing.

   The same feeling has been pervading my graduate school pursuits. The University seems to require a lot of software and passwords that have been too much fun for humans for me to get working. The difference that I've observed so far, is that the University is helpful in getting one's ducks in a row. It helps to be surrounded by twenty somethings. Feeling like I know what I'm doing is going to have to remain a goal for the forseeable future. It's actually wierd, now that I think about it, just how pervasive that feeling is in my life. Since I'm forced to function as a grownup I guess I've not allowed myself the luxury of giving it much thought.  

  Welcome to a whole new world of learning. My advice to you, Flounder, is to start drinking heavily!